Why? Why? Why? Why do you have to write something that's so hurtful to me? I know i was wrong. The guilt keeps creeping inside my soul. Now i have to think of something to distract me when it took me so long to be in this state

tachy? brady? whatevs!!!

Out of the blue, i feel scared. Scared of what future beholds. Now that everything will end and i'm entering a new phase of my life soon. May Allah eases everything. Amin...

malam nisfu syaaban, 15 syaaban

15 more days till we're in the holy ramadhan month. I'm totally hyped bout it. Hehe. Sad to know how Allah has given me a lot yet i still haven't thanked him enough. Therefore, together let us perform our solat sunat and recite yassin after maghrib or isya' insyaalah. It's even better if you can perform qiamullail later before subuh. Lastly, "keep calm and pray"

ayahanda, ibunda ampunkan anakanda

Ive been so busy lately that i keep on forgetting to say hi to both my parents. Luckily, mama always text me and dad who always message me so at least they can keep track bout my current status. Sorry mom and dad. It's not like i don't remember but i've just been so preoccupied. You guys are always in my doa though :) love you both mucho, always, infinity

an hour after my bed time

I did everything  yet im still the same me. What shall i do next? Guess im not doing it hard enough. Words of encouragement please. Anyone? Im such a weakling and crybaby.i know that. But i guess, sometimes i have to tell people my problems instead of keeping it to myself. Lesson learnt!

Bismillah...

Because im too weak hence the consequences. Ya Allah... bantulah hambamu ini. Tenangkanlah hatiku untuk menghadapi peperiksaan yang bakal menjelang. Amin...

not at ease, still...

Sometimes, i wonder why am i facing such a huge difficulties comparing to my other friends. Unsatisfied, of course. It'd be a lie if i say no. To whom i may tell this? I feel scared, sad, depressed, stressed. Can't everything just turn to the way it was before. Im reaching my 3 series soon yet i still don't find a clear pathway of myself. I guess, Allah is fair afterall. All i have to do is pray,pray,pray cause he's the only who can help me right now. To whom it may concern, im sorry. Really...

if only

Is there any way to fasten things up? Correct the wrong? Turn back the time? Oh boy i really do wish for it. If only...  :(  im at the point where i can't tell anyone but myself and Allah about my situation. How do i go through this without anyone. If only they understand me. Ya Allah, aku memohon hidayah-Mu. Kau tunjukkan lah yang sebenar2nya, lindungilah aku, tenangkanlah jiwaku, permudahkan lah segala urusanku. Engakulah yang maha pemurah, penyanyang dan pengampun. Amin...

quarter a century

Im exactly 25 yrs and 2 days today. Tuanyaaaa. Haha. Alhamdulillah... another year to breathe. All i wish for is to be a successful person in the future in every kind of aspect. Being 25 in terms of community medicine, you're no longer a youth nor an adolescent. I'm an adult now. I guess being 25 makes you more emosional. I always talk to my friend and cry cry cry about everything. Thanks for being there whenever i need you guys. Much love. Oops!!! It's almost 6am now. Have to continue my study. Will get back to you readers soon. Adios!

what the future beholds

I had a nightmare. It wasn't pretty at all. Right now, i feel like getting married and have babies and b a full-time wife. Since i don't see anything near that so far, medic is kinda my priority right now. Plus i bet my parents would kill me if they read this. Hahaha. Do pray for me yah guys. Still searching for my mr.right :)

my sad sad life

I wish i could just let go all the sufferings ive been having these few years. It's unfair for them i know. I need some kind of guidance right now. Ya Allah,Tell me what to do. Pleaseeee... i feel so unhappy these days. Too many obstacles for me. Anyone?

aloha 2013

exactly a year and 3 days. yes im here. safe and sound. miss me? don't be. there's facebook, instagram and even twitter :) you guys can always find me there. the reason that i've been missing all this while? busy. cliche' i know but well, that's the life of a medical student i presume. gotta go now. got some errands to do. buh  bye :)

after a long hiatus,,,

hello fellow readers. words can't describe how much i miss all of you loyal readers :) been attached to my hectic schedule all this while. sorry for the lack of updates :( i'm doing good so far. busy busy busy as usual. class from 8-3, saturday till thursday. friday is the only day off for me so on friday i just sit back, chill and relax. hahaha. i can't really figure out what to blog today but i just hope that all of you will have good days ahead. till then, peace out!

post-raya

i miss blogging. a lot! due to the stupid connection of the internet, i have to put blogging on hold. when  the connection is back to normal, i just don't know what to write. i'm lost. my head is empty. shall i just quit? hurm,,, anyhow, i'm back in egypt for 2 weeks now. i miss my family so much. this is the worst homesick ever! :( i dream of my family everyday. yesterday, while texting with my mum, i cried :( what is wrong with me? i just can't wait to finish my study, earn a degree, pack my bag and leave this country for good. i just wish for some sort of miracle to happen so that i can grad earlier. is it possible???

ya rabb!!!

Alhamdulillah,,, i got the greatest news ever in my life. thank you Allah. mom and dad, your daughter is coming home soon. wait for me =)

goodbye to you? never!

people said that i should come out from my shelter, stop being invisible. but for me, i love keeping a low profile though i must admit, exposing yourself is a good thing in a way or another. what shall i do? i'll take the safe approach. be in the middle i.e not too exposed and not too invisible. agree?

the post-exams should be something that we should celebate right? not with a party like what all those mat salleh do but just hanging out with friends, watching movies and chilling around. especially now that ramadhan is coming soon, we can do iftar together, terawih together. having fun while doing something for pahala in return =) . but i realize, all of my friends seem to be stressed out though it's over. why oh why? just let me know and perhaps i can do something to cheer you guys up. ok? ;)

and to YOU, i miss the old you. where have you been? come out come out wherever you are. i've known you for 4 years now. it makes me sad watching you behaving like that :( . ya Allah, please help her find her inner peace. i'm begging you. amin ya rabbalalamin

besides tweeting and blogging

i'm so sad. i wanted to tell someone but i can't. i wanted to to blog about it but i can't. guess i'll just have to keep it to myself. the only thing to do right now is to seek guidance from Allah the almighty. hopefully, i'll be fine soon. time does heal but not everything. till then, see you when i see you

cairo international airport, ct stars

finally, at 9am i managed to get myself off the bed. hahaha. i just got back from cairo with kdyya and tima, sending my montel, zura to the airport. i'm gonna miss your sarcastic talk missy :p we went to cairo at 8 am and reached the airport at 11am. earlier, zura said her flight was at 2pm. guess what? she didn't actually check the ticket and her flight was actually at 6! she had to wait at the airport for 7 hours! too bad we were already at city stars by 12pm and already bought tickets for harry potter. we stayed at city stars till 9pm and finally reached home at 12am. the movie was totally awesome!!! that's the only thing i could say. it's worth every penny. i didn't even blink while watching it cause i'm afraid that i might miss even a tiny weeny thing :D just imagine, i was 13 when the first movie was out and right now, i'm already 23. i grew up with the movie. i felt like crying when i watched it yesterday =( . so guys, why wait? go to your nearest cinema and watch it. you won't be disappointed =)

xoxo

hello hello hello...

ok i sound jakun as if i haven't said it for such a long time. well yes indeed. it has been a month and a half since i last blogged. how you readers been doing? good i hope. oh my how i miss blogging so... much that words can't describe =) finally the exam has ended. Alhamdulillah... that's all i can say. let us all aim for mumtaz insyaAllah. right now, i have no plans for this holiday. i guess i'll just finish watching all the series that's left unwatched inside my hard disk. then maybe i'll just walk around aimlessly. haha. pathetic i know =_=' bare with me cause you readers will be seeing me updating my blog like once per day maybe? :p one more thing, i'll be coming home soon. soon enough to celeb raya and my BFF's birthday. i can't wait. till then. night peeps!

my kinda party

thanks for those who made it to my birthday party last night. sorry if there was any lack in terms of food, hospitality or anything. im so happy. that's all i can say. hehe. thanks to alia's house for the fried mee hoon and chocolate cake, ime's house for the baked macaroni and ummu's house for the drinks and fruits. love you guys mucho! as for the photos, i'll upload it once i get my hands on it yah! ;) btw, i cooked chicken rice for the first time last night and thank god it turned out well. all the guests were satisfied i assumed :D let's do potluck next time before we go back to malaysia for our summer vacay. alright girlfriends? jajana,,, are you reading this? we always think of you eventhough you're not here. we all miss you missy ;)