it's all over

received a text from my mum. then i called her. after having a short talk (around 15 minutes) she ended the call. we were crying like hell throughout the whole talk. i don't know what else am i suppose to do. i don't agree with what my mum going to do god knows when in the future. to atok and nenek... haven't you guys had enough? stop torturing my mum. she left her totally prestigious spot just for the sake of you guys. people even surprised when they found out that my mum is 'somebody'. to those people. don't judge a book by it's cover. i can't hold my tears no more. this is just too much for me. now i realized what "susah sebelum senang" means. never came across my mind to thank god for what i have right now. i'm just such a spoil brat. when i'm in difficulties then only Allah comes to my mind. i'm such a bad follower. i feel like i don't deserve to be in this world. god! help me! i'm so depress right now. i don't have anyone to turn to. i don't know what my future will be. i hope it won't turnout to be the way that i fear the most. to liyana, do comfort mama. she really needs it. you're a grown-up now. please... i'm crossing my finger